“Minimising the Destruction of Divorce for Children”

Effective Co-Parenting Tips

Co-parenting is often viewed as the most difficult aspect of a divorce or separation. Particularly, if there are still some emotional hurdles to overcome. However, if approached in the right way it can be the most rewarding part of your on-going relationship as parents – after all just because the relationship has broken down it doesn’t mean the family has to also.

As a family solicitor in Bath and Bristol, many of the men and women I see want advice as to how they might address co-parenting issues that inevitably crop up. As the children strive to get used to living in 2 households, their development can be greatly enhanced by following a few golden rules.

Parents swear, and children suffer 2

Be respectful toward the other parent:

In the children’s eyes you are still their parents whom they love dearly. Don’t let what negative or critical views you might have about the other parent be picked up by them. Instead keep referring to the other as mum and/or dad, it will make the children feel safe and still part of the family.

Don’t talk about anything that might lead to an argument with the children present:

There will be times when you have a difference of opinion. Don’t address these in front of the children. They are already having to get used to mum and dad not being together anymore. Let them remain children and keep the adult talk behind closed doors.

Don’t talk to the other parent through the children

If you need to make alternative arrangements for contact or there is something else you need to say, contact the other parent directly. It’s not the children’s responsibility to be the messenger.

Be flexible and willing to compromise

Not everything in life can go according to plan. Things may crop up when you need to alter arrangements or you will be asked to accommodate a change to schedule. Talk to the other parent about how best to deal with it and accept it. The children are having to learn to be flexible, so should you.

Turn up to events like plays, sports days, graduations together

Show your children that you are still their mum and dad by putting on that united front. They will appreciate being able to share the experience with both of their parents rather than feeling guilty one is not there.

Always put the children first…

As parents you will share an abiding love and concern for your children. Provided you keep their best interest in mind you should both be able to focus on how best to achieve certain objectives as a family despite being in separate households.

For your free copy of the book “The Truth About Children and Divorce” by Robert E. Emery contact Clare Webb at Sharp Family Law on 01225 448 955 or by email on clare@sharpfamilylaw.com

Article by Richard Sharp

Richard is dedicated to helping clients avoid the trauma of prolonged conflict by finding solutions that benefit them and their families. He works to resolve complex financial situations, protect assets acquired over lifetimes, prioritise the needs of children, and reach outcomes that are fair for all parties.